Loss

Maybe you can relate to this: everything... I mean everything... the trees, the sky, the bridge over Starcke Park, my living room... everything looks different since DeLois and Leland left.  Loss is so consuming.  We all try to go about the business of taking care of the "things" that must be tended to when a life ends and those left behind must sort through its collection of precious mementos and personal items.  But it is hard.  Delane, Marvel and I exchange emails because our lives are busy, or maybe it's easier to express ourselves.  Jolly phones and flits between her home, DeLois' place, social commitments... she is going through the motions.  Others in the family try to take up their normal "routines"... but it is hard and somehow nothing looks the same and everything is different.  As we go through dishes, knick knacks, pictures and other valued treasures, we are reminded of the lives that meant so much, now ceased, never forgotten, always cherished.  Some of the memories evoked are painful... letters written so long ago and probably not meant to be read now, a drawer of socks, a sister's medication... But there are also delightful and storied memorabilia that sustain us through this time of grief and transition... a crazy hat, a tambourine, a favorite book, a picture or piece of music.  It is as though DeLois and Leland are reminding us to carry on, gather for family events, play dominoes, email and phone... and although without them nothing looks the same, we will soon enough become accustomed to a new outlook, one that includes them and keeps them close in our hearts.